12/18/2018

Hello Beautiful World!

Well I’m officially grounded in my new home that is Oregon, and what a crazy adventure it has been. It feels good to be back! This has been one of the longest hiatuses I have ever taken from writing in The Higher Vibration since its inception (7 months!), but I can assure you it was for a good reason! (So many things to discuss and all so exciting!)
But let’s roll back the clock a bit (movie reference for the real MVPs), leaving home had to be one of the most intense feelings I’ve ever experienced. Not because driving across the country worried me, but the idea of “I’m not sure when’s the next time I’ll see any of this again including my friends and family” finally hit me. Oddly enough it didn’t hit me until right before I got in my car as I hugged my mom goodbye at 5am in the pouring rain with a full lightening storm illuminating the sky above us. That was the moment when it all became very real. Sadness dropped within my stomach and the reality rose to my awareness.

This was it.

As I drove off in the rain, (to pick up my best friend and meet up with our other friend who I was moving out here) all the emotions that bloomed inside me constantly evolved like a kaleidoscope inside my soul; shifting, changing, and rearranging. Luckily I had spent a solid month working on the most epic playlist I could for the road trip, so I had that to look forward to and cheer me up amidst the bittersweet feels I was feeling.
Once we had all hit the road, we encountered terrible weather (all the rain). So much so that we decided to just book it out of Florida as fast as we could. I felt a feeling in my chest that wanted me to put as much space between me and Florida as possible, so we spent our first night I believe somewhere in Alabama.

Then after that we jetted off to Austin, Texas to stay with our buddy Chase who was kind enough to host us for the next few days and show us around. During this time he also hosted a massive island pirate party, to say that it was fun would be an understatement considering he actually hid a treasure chest full of money on the island!

Then we made our way over to New Mexico and enjoyed the nature of the desert in Santa Fe.

It’s also worth mentioning here that we went to an Art Exhibit called Meow Wolf and I HIGHLY recommend it! Such a fun place to explore with interactive art. We need more Meow Wolf’s in the world. Anywho if you’d like to read more about that experience I’ll put a link here in the future for a whole post about it!

Continuing onward we then headed to Lake Powell Utah to go camping in the desert like we had done in the past. This was one of the few times we actually got to bust out our tent on the trip because unfortunately everywhere was still freezing in April (Florida girls had no idea what to expect). We made friends with friendly German couples who taught us German around a campfire and shared a few beers. Didn’t learn much German that I can remember but we sure had a great time discussing each other’s culture and stereotypes.

It was unfortunately during this time that the weather decided to take a turn for the worst. The morning after our night camping we decided to take a hike down to the lake and hangout for a bit. There was no one there that time of year and it was incredibly quiet. I decided to sit for a (longer than usual) meditation (45+ minutes), when I had finished and got up to hike back a sand storm suddenly erupted!

We had to pack the entire camp up with 20+ winds and getting sand blasted all at the same time (my car never had so much sand in it before and I lived near a beach). With the storm we were forced to stay another night at a hotel before being able to move forward. This is also when most of our plans for camping in other national parks went to shit. Zion National Park was snowing, and so was Lake Tahoe.

So we decided to make a dash to Yosemite and stay the night with a friend who was currently living and working there. As a result we got to hangout with the ‘Yosemites’ as they call themselves (the people who live year round or season round at Yosemite working within the Park) and I managed to get myself into a crazy situation which deserves an entire story for itself and that will be located here in the future.

Then onward we stayed in a dinky hotel in California one night before arriving in San Francisco to spend some time with another Florida friend of ours. She’s awesome, thanks Amelia! I’m not a fan of driving in San Fran one bit but we survived lol. And since the crime rate is so bad, we had to unpack my ENTIRE car (you know only ALL of my belongings), just for the one night that we had stayed (otherwise people would break into your car, even for a jacket). It’s a pretty sad situation going on over in San Francisco right now, but that’s a whole other story. Grateful for the nice place to sleep, we thanked Amelia and headed onward to Mount Shasta.

When we arrived it was pretty late and cold (lots of snow on the mountain!), so we made a dash to a small family owned hotel and then discovered that we had stayed in a very haunted room. Both Jenna and I could hardly sleep, and I hadn’t discovered the Jenna felt the same till I asked her in the morning and we both had strange experiences (highly uncomfortable, as if someone was angry and staring). Whatever it was it was pretty clear we weren’t welcome there. Made sure to tell the Front desk on the way out and ask about if anything had happened in that room. She proceeded to assure me that everything was fine, only a few ‘fights’ and broken out there in the past (ah, sureeee). Onward we went from here to Ashland, Oregon.

Here’s where things start to get interesting.

I had a friend in Ashland I promised I would visit, so we planned to stay a few days before heading up to Portland. The first night was nothing special as we stayed in a typical motel by the highway, but the following days we stayed at the Jackson Wellspring, which is an AMAZING place. It’s so much more than a campground, it’s a hippy haven to put it shortly. In the future I’ll put a whole article on it Here, but till then I’ll just say that Ashland aroused my curiosity.

We had arrived during the middle of Spring, everything was just so lush and beautiful! Rolling green mountains, a massive town park that stretched for miles into the ‘fairy ponds’, people embracing all the arts in every corner of the town… I felt home. Music from a large variety of instruments are played throughout the day (harps, cello, guitar, you name it), people watercolor painting on top of rocks in the creek, it goes on and on. The creativity this town embraced felt like exactly where I needed to be. But then the sinking feeling of “this isn’t where I planned on staying” seeped in. 

So after a few days of staying in this artsy down we then decided to get moving once again to our final destination, Portland. We arrived and embraced our friend Julia (who seperated from us back in Lake Powell to get to Portland sooner) and immediately began apartment searching. We found one place in the outskirts of the city that was perfect for us. We toured it, paid the application fee, and got a hotel for almost a week as we waited… and waited… and waited.

They finally got back to us and informed us that we both had to have proof of employment before the place was ours. This crushed me. Because I had worked my ass off working 60+ hours a week with two jobs for over 8 months so I could take a month off of work when I finally did move to relax and take in the new environment. I quickly became very depressed the following days afterwards because I didn’t have anymore energy within to work a hard grinding job at the moment. Even though we both had more than enough money in our bank accounts to show that we could pay rent for over and ENTIRE year, the development didn’t care. SO, I forced myself to go out and fill out job applications/ make resumes, etc. It was during this time Jenna had to fly back to Florida, and it was just Julia and I.

By the time I made it to the third place I had forced myself to pick out to apply to, I felt the crushing weight in my chest. My feet got heavy and everything within me was fighting these actions. I had my lowest point of the trip here, when I started sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of the busy sidewalk like a crazy person. I got back in the car and cried harder than I had in a very long time. I screamed at the universe, begging and pleading for some guidance. I called all my intuitive friends and asked for any kind of help. One finally came through for me with something small, but just enough to make me see the light that was coming from the other direction if only I had allowed myself to see it as an option in the first place. 

I asked my friend, how they felt about the energy of me staying in Portland VS Ashland, and they said that Ashland felt like a much better option for me. That was it. Just that little bit of information turned on a light inside of me of coherence. This resonated. But then the sinking feeling came through again with the realization that my friend Julia still needed me as a roommate. That day I returned to our AirBnB at this time we had rented out for a week, and she could see that I was not doing so good. So she asked, and then it all spilled out.

She told me that from the very first time she spoke with me on the phone when I was in Ashland, she knew. She knew that I liked it better there and that’s when she felt the sinking feeling for herself. But before we had left Florida we both agreed that we didn’t have to go Portland that we could pick somewhere else if it felt right. We had discussed this scenario before it had happened. She told me to go, that if I wasn’t happy here than I should go there. I asked her to come with me, but her heart was set on Portland. So that was when we seperated.

That’s when things got the most intense and the universe came through for me. As I hugged Julia goodbye and got in my packed car once more, I realized that I was doing this completely alone. No more Jenna or Julia, just me driving alone for over five hours to a town I had only stayed at a few days to visit a new friend. It was a strange feeling driving with absolutely no plan with the rest of my existence and not even having a place to rest my head. So I asked my friend in Ashland if they knew anyone who might have a place for rent, and one thing lead to another. Next thing I knew, I had a place to stay the night in a lady’s camper outside her house till we could talk in the morning to see if we would be a good fit to live together or not. 

Then begins the era of the ‘Art Shack’.

Lisa and I quickly hit it off, and she was exactly the person I had always envisioned myself having as my future landlord. A momma hippy who was super cool and laid back. She knows all the best places in town and all around, along with all the happenings. She gave me a pick of a bedroom inside the house with heat/AC or the shack in the back without those things (but had electricity!). As soon as I saw the shack my heart was set! Another weird side note is that I always envisioned my first place I’d ever rent to be a weird little space that I would have fun fixing up and making my own. And this place fit the bill. Where most people would probably hate this situation (the bathroom was inside the house which was a pain at night), I was so in love with the strangeness of it all.

I would wake up and plant my feet in the grass and smile at the sky above for how grateful I was for being in such a fantastic place. Mountains everywhere I looked, birds chirping, and a beautiful garden outside my window. It felt like my own little tiny home. She said she was going to demolish the shed next year to make her own tiny home there, so I could paint and do whatever I pleased. Both a very sad and happy statement at the same time. One hand, creativity! Other hand, temporary situation. It was there in that shed I spent the next month and a half writing my fiction book I’m currently working on (so exciting by the way!), and enjoying my new residence. It was also during this time that I then got my kitty Magic, who I trained to walk on a leash and travel around with me (even take him camping!) Love him!

Curious about the creative men that also must reside in this town I then went out on the dating scene and met a few different characters over the course of those few months. One special ‘character’ stood out the most, and we hit it off immediately. Everything flowed right off the bat, and just made sense. Things seemed to move quicker than usual for both of us, but we didn’t fight it since it just felt so right. Words escaped us with how everything was beyond we ever thought possible. Needless to say, here we are now six months later, and still going strong/living together. I’ll spare you all the extra details (unless you want to know more!), but indeed life is beautiful with James. I twinge at the term “Twin Flames” because of how it gets thrown about so much in the spiritual community, but at the same time if that ever were a thing, this would be that thing lol.

Speaking of flames, this summer quickly turned into flames, as much of the west coast was on fire and I was (quite literally) smoked out of my Art Shack.

James offered for me to stay with him until the smoke cleared, and as many know, it didn’t clear for THREE WHOLE MONTHS. Still back and forth I went to the hut as soon as the smoke somewhat cleared from “Hazardous” to “Unhealthy” only to be thrown right back into the thick of it again! Then because of all the smoke my landlord had decided that she wanted to sell her house and move to the coast because she couldn’t take the smoke anymore (and I don’t blame her). Even though she assured me it probably wouldn’t happen till next year, I felt my stability in the shack waning. Long story short, I asked James if he felt it was alright if I moved in for real (since I practically already had been). Aaaaaaand here we are!

I also got a job, which I am currently working at now at a tea house with over 100 different kinds of teas (which makes me incredibly happy). I’ve always had a fascination and love for tea in the energetic, medicinal sense. The way certain teas can affect one’s mood is highly intriguing to me. And once again everything happened flawlessly when I followed my heart that lead me to the tea house. One of the first few days I was in Ashland I went to the tea house and quickly fell in love wishing that I could spend my days in such a magical establishment. Then when I came back and went job searching a month later, lo and behold they had posted a hiring ad on craigslist! I quickly sent in my resume and the next day was in for an interview! Just when I thought that this was all too smooth, I walked in for my interview and a few customers were freaking out because a small bird was stuck inside the tea house. So I then ran over and gently retrieved the bird (which is strange in itself for me, because I have never held a bird before, let alone caught one inside a building), and then opened my hands outside to release him into the sky… then I turned around and walked back in after everyone saw the whole affair and said “Hi, I’m here for the interview.” Some crazy stuff that only happens in the movies! Needless to say I got the job, and that’s where I am at now!

Life can indeed be magical if you step outside your comfort zone and create space for it to happen. When you stick to the same thing every day, the same patterns, and motions… You close the gap for any magic to really spill through. Sometimes spirit has a way of forcing a sprinkle here and there even in such a repetitive state to remind you that it’s still there. But that’s all it is, a reminder that there’s much more! If you want more magic, you have to trust yourself and your heart more. Because it’s out there (in there) waiting for you, all you have to do is leap… knowing that you’re always supported (because you are). We are what we believe, believe more.

Thank you for reading my story, I hope it inspired you to take more chances with the unknown in your life.

Whether it be just switching jobs, going to a a new social event (alone!), or, you know, moving across the entire country without any plan (maybe have a little more of a plan than I did). I hope you discover something new and wondrous about yourself, because you are.

And we all have something to share.