4/9/2017

Jealousy
The not so fun feeling that comes up in different parts of our lives.

Of course there is a method behind this madness.

Jealousy rears it’s ugly head into our lives when we come from a state of lack, when we are not feeling empowered (which can be often for some).

That is ultimately the root cause of most jealousy cases. Because when we come from an empowered state, and we see another doing, looking, or feeling great we are happy for them.

For their greatness does not take away from our own. 

In other words, we are so content (and grateful) for where we are at that when we see another’s success we feel excitement for them. After all why would we not want another to succeed?

Do you subconsciously feel as if this person’s success is taking away from your own?

Deep rooted insecurity of not truly being enough?

In my own perspective, I see jealousy as a gift for us to practice awareness. Allowing jealousy to be a sign for us when we have strayed off the path of loving ourselves.

In my awareness practice, whenever I see jealousy show up in my own life I see it as a red flag. Signs of jealousy alerting me to some kind of strong imbalance in my mind/heart/life. I look at it from a more distant perspective, observing the emotions attached to the rising of this feeling without identifying these emotions as ‘myself’.

And it is there, in that moment, I am free to study the depths of this blockage for what it is.

First and foremost, Jealousy is associated with the emotion of ‘lacking’.

This also ties up to being ungrateful for what you do have, and with comparison.

Comparison

There are two different forms of comparison, a healthy form and the not so healthy form.

The unhealthy form of comparison (also stems from the lacking root emotion) involves looking towards another and seeing things that you wish you had, and shunning the parts of yourself that are not up to that standard. This is of course very toxic for the mind, body, and spirit collective; because you are disempowering all that you are on the basis of someone else. This unhealthy type of comparison/jealousy then leads to anger, resentment, spitefulness, passive-aggressiveness, and overall a negative well being.

Even the most positive, upbeat can suffer from this emotion in all different ranges and degrees.

There are those who are jealous of every woman that walks past her, and those who only feel a tinge of jealousy over small things throughout the day. Either way it is always something worthy of being improved upon, for it is an internal alert of some lacking belief within you.

What is healthy comparison then?

It’s when you see another doing, looking, or feeling great, and their happiness is your happiness.

It’s when you are genuinely happy for their success; because you know that it is not taking away from your own. It stems from when you are so grateful for your own life, and feel empowered… Which for most people (unfortunately) it is not the case; because in our society we are often lacking in the gratitude department.

Hence consumerism. The need to keep filling the void of lack with things, the newest whatever is cool thing… Then having to show off this new thing wishing subconsciously (or not so subconsciously) to make others envy them and feel lack too. At it’s core this vicious ugly cycle is trying to cause lack to others to make up for their own… instead of going within and feeling that we are already complete (mic drop).

Good news is that now more than ever people all over are waking up to this truth, and are working towards real fulfillment.

Healthy comparison is where you look towards another’s success as a form of INSPIRATION. Their success giving you something to work towards and aspire to in your own unique way!

That is healthy comparison.

Seeing someone who is where you want to be, and acknowledging/understanding that work is going to be necessary to get to that position too. Healthy comparison comes from a place of understanding, and maturity. Unlike just regular comparison where you wish you had what they had right this instant. Healthy comparison knows and is inspired to work or do something in a new way to get similar results. Much like when we were children and we wanted whatever anyone else had right now. This is a common behavior we had as children that we just never quite grew completely out of.

If you find healthy comparison too difficult to practice at this time (it’s good to be kind and honest with yourself), then perhaps you should just practice not judging/comparing at all for awhile. Especially yourself. Every time you catch yourself judging you, become aware of it and send kindness to yourself instead. This kind of rewiring of the brain is very rewarding overtime. Once you learn to judge yourself less, then you will stop judging/comparing others as much too. As within so without. How we treat ourselves is how we treat others, whether we are aware of it or not.

So ultimately when jealousy stirs inside us, we are given the opportunity to see where we really feel that there is a deficit in our lives. And with this realization we can use it to EMPOWER us, to free us from our own subconscious unhappiness cycles.

We can observe it, unbiased, and unattached to the emotions we feel stemming from it. And in that moment practice gratitude for all the things you do have within your own body and life. Celebrate what’s already present! Instead of letting the mind run away with the constant longing for something more. Of course it is necessary and good to wish to continue and grow… but this kind of growth/fulfillment needs to come from the heart not just the mind. For that is the only way to find true success in what you want in the long run.

Remember to keep gratitude as your attitude, and abundance of all things in your life will be yours.

Live an empowered life.

If you wish to see the video that accompanies this article, you can watch it here!

With love as always,

Sara